Monkey Vs Tiger
Posted on 2006-06-20 at 08:25
An amazing display of Monkey vs Tiger. May the best Kung Fu win:
Eye Candy for Gnome
Posted on 2006-06-17 at 13:28
The workplace switcher for Gnome 2.16 is gonna be a bit blingier:
The new Gnome Dockbar bling is kinda neat too (watch it in action by clicking below):
And don't forget the wonderful new(ish) Gnome Bling Manager!:
That's among the many reasons why I say Vista is a waste of money!
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Posted on 2006-06-15 at 08:32
"Why are you worried about the NSA tapping your phone unless you've done something wrong?"
We've all heard that line trotted out. Some of you have even used it from time to time. So what's wrong with the logic?
Underlying it is the implication that privacy is about concealing a wrong-doing. Not so. It's my right to be private. It's my perogative to wall my personal life off from those to whom I don't want to share. I haven't done anything wrong in changing my clothes or when I am talking about personal troubles with a friend, but I damn sure want privacy when I do it!
The real question is, "Since when did you assume it was anyone's business what I do in my private moments?"
Is security your concern? Then you are a pursy, weak, pathetic little person. To turn and cower in the face of terrorism is to betray the worst sort of personal failure---frailty in the face of personal trial. You are as those germans who turned a blind eye to the Jewish holocaust out of fear that you might be next if you speak up! ("OH NO! He compared us to the Nazi youth!") Hell, at least those people's fears were grounded in reality, whereas yours has no basis more reliable than your own martyr fantasy. You would give up all the most real parts of being American in priciple for the sake of maintaining sovreignty so you can be an American in namesake only? Yours is the sickest sort of weakness. The sort born from fear and hate and carried forward by the will you abdicated to your leaders the first time you drank their special brand of Kool Aid. Give me a gun and my Bill of Rights. I'll defend them on my own if I must...even against you.
This rant is done now. Continue with your day. Have some fresh lemonaid on the way out.
This code says all that needs saying
Posted on 2006-06-15 at 08:24
SELECT *
FROM [tcaudron].Concern
WHERE Project = 'My Current Assignment'
No Records Found.
Hmmm. That's odd, maybe it was the wrong table.
SELECT *
FROM [tcaudron].Apathy
WHERE Project = 'My Current Assignment'
Server: Msg 50122, Level 17, State 1, Line 1
Buffer Overflow Error. Please try to limit your search arguments to a more manageable result set.
Reports
Posted on 2006-06-14 at 08:41
I'm working on reports at work right now. For reasons obvious, this comic resonated with me, existentially.
Zombo Lies!
Posted on 2006-06-14 at 08:36
Earlier I requested a spare invite to zombo.com. I must now recind my request, for I have learn that zombo lies to me. Thanks go to obmoz.com for the heads up.
Define the Word "Guts"
Posted on 2006-06-13 at 08:18
This picture speaks for itself.
Frank has spawned a child process
Posted on 2006-06-13 at 08:08
Congrats, Frank.
Problem with Guild Wars in Ubuntu Linux
Posted on 2006-06-11 at 15:25
So, I got Cedega running nicely under the latest version of Ubuntu, but when I installed Guild Wars (a seamless install process!) it told me that my video card was undetectable and asked me if I wanted to continue or cancel. When I selected Continue, it hung indefinately. This was a problem.
The fix was straightforward, though. I set my Cedega app to run games in a window, then when I entered the game and the error popped up, I hit Continue and it showed me the screen. I set the video up manually there, then exited to save the changes to disk. Then I restarted Cedega (not sure I needed to, but I did) and changed the Cedega optiosn to open full screen again. Viola! All was fine.
What was the problem, you ask? Many modern games have all sorts of card-specific commands they utilize to take advantage of native card performance. Cedega, however, only shows them a generic card, so the game could not detect the card properly. The video was all skewed and the result was what looked like a black screen. In the window mode, however, I could see that the screen was there and running, but in a small corner of the open window. Manually setting the video options to what I want saved them to disk so that the next time the game was opened it didn't try to detect the card and change the settings. All worked fine after that.
If you have a similar problem, I hope this helps.
Klingon Rules Of Programming
Posted on 2006-06-09 at 21:23
A while back I posted the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition that have been so helpful to my thriving business, so it is only fitting that I also post the Klingon Rules of Programming as a follow up.
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters'. They have 'arguments'---and they always win them.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
- I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
- A true Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
- By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!
You have been warned.
Fixing the Ubuntu Dapper and Cedega xlibs error
Posted on 2006-06-09 at 08:32
So you say you are having a problem installing Transgaming's Cedega on the latest version of Ubuntu (Dapper Drake or 6.06 LTS)? Me too. In short, when I tried to install the deb package, I got an error telling me "cedega depends on xlibs (>> 4.1.0); however: Package xlibs is not installed". So uncool. The issue is that xlibs has been deprecated in favor of a more modern x package. Thankfully, there is a solution.
- Go to the Transgaming site, log in, and download the latest Cedega package for your system.
- cd to the directory where the package was downloaded.
- Make a new directory in which to work:
~/downloads$ mkdir cedega - Extract the downloaded deb file top the new directory:
~/downloads$ dpkg-deb --extract cedegaXXXXXX.deb cedega - Make the package editable:
~/downloads$ dpkg-deb --control cedegaXXXXXX.deb cedega/DEBIAN - Edit the package to remove the dependency on xlibs:
~/downloads$ gedit cedega/DEBIAN/control
Remove the reference to Xlib (X.X.X) from the depends list.
Save and exit. - Build the new package that doesn't depend on xlibs:
~/downloads$ dpkg --build cedega - Install the new package:
~/downloads$ sudo dpkg -i cedega.deb
Why does this work? Well, the short answer is that though xlibs is missing and cedega does depend on it, the API functionality has been replaced, so though cedega says it depends on xlibs, it really just needs those API calls, which are present in a different package in Ubuntu Dapper in the default installation.
Enjoy
10/8/2006 Update:
A reader emailed me an example of a simpler workaround. Instead of building a new package that does not depend on xlibs, you can just using the "ignore-depends" flag to install the original package:
dpkg --ignore-depends=xlibs -i cedegaXXXXXX.deb
This will install cedega, though you'll need to do it every time you install the package. If you want the package fixed, use the original method I outline instead.
A question to consider
Posted on 2006-06-08 at 08:33
What does it mean to say that the Jews are the "Chosen People"? We know at it's base it means "chosen to be in a covenant with God" but does it mean more than that?
Is it an exclusivist model? Can others join into the chosenness of the Jewish people? Are converted jews also members of the chosen people? Is this chosen status a form of ethnocentrism? At heart, the question, I suppose, becomes what do we mean when we say the "jewish community"? Does the claim come with assumptions of superiority? Purpose?
I ask because I also note the many Christian, Islamic, and Hindu groups that claim "Chosen People" status. It's interesting to compare the claims of chosenness among the various groups. There's nothing more to this post than my interest in that question.
Now, go discuss amongst yourselves.
Some assistance
Posted on 2006-06-08 at 08:31
Anyone with a spare invite to http://www.zombo.com, please send it my way. Thanks!
Satan's Day!
Posted on 2006-06-06 at 08:58
The date is 6/6/6. Neat.
Cars, Snakes and The Art of Lying
Posted on 2006-06-06 at 07:57
Unlike the schoolyard squirrel, I was not the worst thing that had ever happened to that snake. You see, the snake was already dead when I found it. I think it must've been a peaceful death. The body, roughly 3 feet in length, was intact and unmangled. This was a primo find for a boy that age! A whole snake to do with as I pleased? This day was off to a great start.
We all sat around looking at the snake. Such an opportunity could not be wasted. It's not everyday the Lord hands a person such a high quality, snake carcass. It was like manna from heaven, and we would not waste the gift. We talked about all the various great things we could do with this snake, but in the end we were stuck. There was Frozen Snake Jousting and Frozen Snake Sword Fighting. There was Wearing It As A Belt and Wearing It As A Headband. There were girls to be frightened and parents to be disgusted, teachers to be upset and strangers to be startled. We had plans. Many of them. And that was the problem. How does a young boy choose between so many equally good paths?
For a while we played with the snake---smacking each other with it, acting like it was alive and attacking us, poking at it, staring at it. All this to delay the inevitable. We needed to do something grand with it. In the end, it was poor impulse control that made our decision for us.
I had the snake by the tail, standing in front of the rusty white 21st street side of the Circa Del Mar at the Oceanfront. I watched the cars going by, some speeding past, hurrying to get to the beach, some slowly down to make a right hand turn. The other boys sat on the sidewalk equally despondent---our ophiophilia quickly souring as the weight of our decision bore on us, as our sacred duty led us to preemptively regret each future path before we took it and a vague malaise set over us. Even poking a dead snake with sticks seemed a hollow fun eventually. Something had to be done.
The couple were probably just in town for a little RnR---some mellow fun-in-the-sun---and maybe just to get away from the hectic agitation of the daily grind. Their car was modest, a small four door older model, not so old as to scream "welfare" but no so new as to whisper "worship my car" either. It began slowing down to make the same right hand turn that others had been making unmolested all day. Theirs was not to be the same fate as the Lincoln before them or even the Buick after them. Their's was a different lot entirely.
WHAM! The snake came down hard across the hood and windshield of the car as it moved past me. I wish I could say I had a look of excitement and joy, but in truth, all I felt was relief. The decision had been made. The Gift had been spent. I watched, detached and emotionless, as the car screeched and turned and wagged and bobbled. After a few seconds---which seems like a minute and a half to me, but probably a great deal longer to those riding in the vehicle---the car came to a stop, turned the opposite direction on the far side of the road. I watched with disinterest as the man and his wife (or girlfriend or mistress or whatever) stepped shakily out of the car and looked around to see what had been hit. Surely, they thought, the child must be dead. Look at the blood all over the car! Tragedy and mayhem!
Now as I recall, it was then that the angels spake unto me, saying "Your work here is finished, my child, RUN!!!!" As I've said before, I do not make it a habit of being disobedient to the Voices, so I did indeed make ample use of my sneakers. This was my 'hood, and I knew these tourists had no chance to catch me. I was fast, smart, and preternaturally patient...like a snake. The local fire station has a great little area nestled in the middle of it's nearly O-shaped building. This would serve as my hideout until the tourists had gone back to Beauty, Kentucky or Sod, West Virginia or Sweet Lips, Tennessee or whereever it is that our mayor busses these people in from. I was silent, like the ninja. I could not be caught.
It had to be two hours later (in child-hours, at least!) when I crawled from my snake hole to rejoin my friends who were surely setting up a party in my honor as I waited in hiding. Clowns and balloons and 72 ponies (OMG PONIES!!1!!1!) awaited me, and all I had to do was make my way back to get my kudos. The Angels told me to go home and collect my reward another day, but against all reason, I ignored the Voices and trod onward toward my ponies and clowns and backslaps and high fives. It was as I crossed an alley about half a block from the snake incident when I heard it. "Hey, did you see a kid around here playing with a snake?" Innocent, but shocked, denial. "Bullshit! It's you! I know it was!" Deny Deny Deny. "Don't give me that! I know it was you, kid! We could've been seriously hurt, blah blah blah! Caused an accident, yappity slappity! Dangerous to be in traffic, wibbildy bibbildy stuff and junk!" Pretend to Cry. Act scared of the strangers and their bizarre accusations. "Well, maybe it wasn't you." Walk away smiling.
In the end, there were no ponies or clowns or balloon animals. No clouds parted. The Angels were strangely silent. All that was left was a duty discharged and a story worth retelling. As I've grown older, I have come to realize that's really enough.
Videos to watch
Posted on 2006-06-02 at 08:01
I was telling someone about John Stewart on Crossfire and Stephen Colbert's recent attacks on the President and the Press. Mostly, these are here to make it easy for him to find them. Also, if you haven't seen either of them, do so now.
I normally embed video from Google Video (cuz I know it works well), so if the above embedded video of Stephen Colbert doesn't work right for you for whatever reason you can watch Stephen Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner here.
Advice for telemarketing calls
Posted on 2006-06-01 at 21:18
Every few minutes repeat, "You’re going to have to bear with me, I have a slight short term memory loss problem, who is this again?"
It'll make for a much more fullfilling conversation.