Jr High Drop Out

The Homo Movieseat Firewall and the Twin Prime Conjecture

Last night, Bryan and I went to the movies to watch V For Vendetta. Overall, a good movie. But that's not what I'm writing about right now. Nope. Right now I'm gonna talk about math and the art of not being homo in a movie theater.

You see, Bryan has this thing about movies. He doesn't like guys to sit right next to him. It creeps him out. He likes to see one seat between all male friends in the theater. He says he only wants to sit close if it's a date. He's a total freak about it. It's his homo firewall. That one seat is all that stands between him and a torrid, slathering homo-erotic lovefest with oil, candles, Spock in leather chaps, and a soft Barry Manilow song.

Well, anyway, I'm sitting there right next to him (because it is my duty to creep Bryan out) and all I can think about is the Twin Prime Conjecture. What is the Twin Prime Conjecture? Let me explain.

You see around the year 300 BC this guy Euclid noticed that prime numbers (you know, those numbers which are only evenly divisible by themselves and 1) tend to come in pairs separated by one number. Like 11 [skip 12] 13, or 17 [skip 18] 19, or 101 [skip 102] 103. Put as Euclid did: there are infinitely many primes p such that p + 2 is also prime. He proposed that prime numbers would tend to group in that way infinitely. This conjecture has never been proved, though numerical evidence---not to mention simple heuristic reasoning involving the probabilistic distribution of primes---suggests its veracity.

Well anyway, I sat there, no seat between Bryan and I, his enormous mass (he is a fat bitch!) shifting uncomfortably from the entire movie. I should have put a hand on his knee halfway through, but I didn't want any uncut fingernail getting caught in the bristly, donkey-like fur that covers his Neanderthal legs. Instead I just leaned on the arm rest between us to invade his chair-space and spent the movie thinking of new prime twins.

I'm a hopeless freak in so many core ways.


#bryan #science

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