Jr High Drop Out

Shit White People Do

This dude made me laugh and feel personally attacked all at the same time. Loved it!


#wtf

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Hatred and Admiration

Listen, I hate the guy, too, y'all. But let's all be honest. He pulled off Neo-Viking realness or Modern Loyal Order of Water Buffalo better than I thought possible and I swear if I can't buy a Him costume this October, that's a capitalism fail. Period.


#politics #holidays #wtf

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The Stalker's Motto…


#wtf

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I am not sure how clouds get formed

But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.


#wtf

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You don’t even know…


#wtf

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Too much gray…


#science #wtf

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Today I learned…

Three things of note that I see in this very important map:

  1. The ocean contains an untapped, infinite supply of pork.
  2. We are trapped in our states by impenetrable pig walls.
  3. Canada and Mexico are lost to the swine already. Save yourselves! It's Hogmageddon!!!


#wtf

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In my head, this is me…always


#me #wtf

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C:\MSDOS\REEFER\>smoke


#wtf #technology

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I have had this dream


#wtf #technology

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Comic Facts


#comics #wtf

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What if milk had pulp?

No, but for real though…


#wtf

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The Dark Side of Seuss


#muppets #seuss #wtf

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Panda sticker or someone bragging about the shortest marathon ever?


#wtf

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Programmers: You’re Welcome! Everyone else: Move along


#programming #geek #wtf

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Programmers: You’re Welcome! Everyone else: Move along

title:

#programming #geek #wtf

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This is some trifling bullshit


#wtf

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Batman is strange woke, y’all


#wtf #comics #religion

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Aww, how sweet

Aww, how sweet. This man died in Pompei holding his loved ones.


#wtf

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How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”


#wtf #science

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My favorite license plate from today’s morning commute


#wtf

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Because "Woman Does Man Stuff" sounded like a bad porn


#movies #wtf

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Tolkien Just Got Better

Why don't we talk more about how Tolkien and CS Lewis showed up at a non-costume party dressed like polar bears or how, for shits and giggles, Tolkien once set about convincing an entire class that Leprechauns are for realz?#TolkienJustGotBetter


#wtf #writing

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I didn't see an issue with this

Don’t hate just cuz I’m checking off my #friendshipgoals


#bryan #holidays #wtf

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Think about it

If there were 3 beds in Goldilocks, then the untold story is that baby bear was holding the family together. :(


#wtf

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Waffle House

The subject of Waffle House came up on another thread. I shared my thoughts on this important topic. Repeated here because you want to know.

  • Waffle House: Because some days you just don't feel dressed up enough for McDonald's.
  • Waffle House: Where your mother's shame may still follow you, but no one gives a crap.
  • Waffle House: Sometimes you just want to look around and think "These people watch creepier porn than me."
  • Waffle House: Because there are days when looks-like-eggs is good enough.
  • Waffle House: Some women just like a guy whose face is shiny from grease and tears.

#food #wtf

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Pretty much


#wtf #religion

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Andre wore it better


#wtf

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Dirty Vader


#wtf

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What’s short, cruel, and brutally fucks you in the ass?

Life.

Also, Strange Henry who lives behind the Waffle House trash cans.


#food #wtf

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Don’t be an asshole

There are two kinds of people. Those who put their shopping carts back instead of leaving then all over the parking lot, and those who are total assholes.


#wtf

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What was your best memory of 2015?

   

   

   


#wtf

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Dear Facebook Couples

Please use Private Chat. Please.
Sincerely,
Everyone, everywhere.


#wtf

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For the record, so did Denise

I read this like 6 times and kept reading “CRAP” instead of “CPAP”.


#wtf

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Most unintentionally pornographic name

Did Henry Wadsworth Longfellow know just how dirty his name sounds? I mean, what part of that name ISN'T talking about his junk?!?


#wtf

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Matt drew a diagram then left his desk


#wtf #work

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If a man travels through time and has sex with himself…

…is this gay or masturbation?


#wtf

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Amityville Horror Home For Sale

Buy your very own nightmare-inducing dream home. Flies and blood not included,


#wtf #movies

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I'm not high. You are!

I am melon-balled by aliens in his sleep. Will the people who live in the walls believe me?


#wtf #me

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A joke for your day

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom.

“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!“

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”


#wtf

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Cadence

"A baby is eighty hundred forty percent payoff. That means give me all your money"

WTF is wrong with my daughter? Lol.


#family #wtf

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I wasn't sure either

“There's a dead hooker under the bed.  What would Jesus do?”


#wtf

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Pornucopia

This was on my desk this morning.  I think it may be my first proposition from a vegetable.


#food #wtf

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Today's idea

I'm having difficulty thinking of anything funnier to watch right now than an octagon death match between a leprechaun and a jackalope. But I welcome comments that can offer more hilarity.


#wtf

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I'm still unclear as to why PacMan won't eat eyes

That's just weird, dude. He eats those ghosts, genitals and all, but the eyes are too nasty for him? I don't understand the Japanese sometimes.


#wtf #gaming

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Midgets are funny, especially when they are me!


#me #wtf

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These are the tough questions, people

I wonder why, if Septem, Octo, Novem, and Decem are Latin for 7 8 9 & 10 respectively, are they the root names for our 9th through 12th months?


#wtf

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Worst Valentines Present


#holidays #wtf

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Is that legal in Virginia?

While at the zoo with my daughter and wife today, I spied this scene:

So, what exactly is that frog doing to that elephant and aren't their laws (of nature) against it?


#wtf #family

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A Halloween Followup

As you may know, I get the occasional comment about my blog from the provided "Make a Comment" links. The door is always open should someone really want their comment made public. This is the case today with Shep. He's requested that I include his addendum to my Origin of Halloween post. So, without editing or censoring, I present tonight's guest blog entry from Shep:

My favorite part of Holloween is when teenage kids unsuspectinly bite into an apple with razor blades stuck in it. Then they turn to you with eyes wide and a razor blade stuck between their two front teeth, like some kind of demonic dental floss. They mumble something like "Help me!" but you can't understand them because it comes out like, "Helphmpfp Muuhhh" Hahahaha! Good times.

So, now you know. If you reply to an entry of mine and want your comment known (as long as it's not just "Tom is the g@y sux0r!" or something like that) just make it known in your reply that you want it posted. As you can see, I'll post just about anything.

So Shep, now that you're famous, you'll be beating the womenfolk off with a stick! Look forward to your riches and glory.


#holidays #friends #wtf

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Daredevil: The Man Without Fear

Screw Ben Affleck. This guy should be playing Daredevil in the movies. I've never seen anything like this in my life.


#movies #comics #wtf

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Baby Ragnarok

Rock-a-bye baby
In the tree tops
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

Who in their right minds thought this would make a good children's bedtime song?!? It's description of some sort of baby armegeddon practically designed to induce nightmares. Here you go baby. Sweet dreams, and remember that if all goes well you won't fall from 30 feet up in a storm to crack your skull. WTF?


#family #wtf

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Badgers

Badgers, Badgers, Badgers...and the occasional Mushroom and Snake. Courtesy of Bryan, He Who Shall Be Destroyed By My Hand.


#wtf #bryan

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