Blowback
Posted on 2007-10-17 at 07:39
Funny stuff. Apparently my blog support of Ron Paul has had an interesting effect on my inbox. I've had people writing to argue Ron Paul's positions, confess being a closet Paulite, convert to Paulism, and accuse me of being duped by the viral marketing scam of Paulism. It's been a while since I got this much blog feedback from a single entry. And for that, I'm calling it a success.
If my one blog entry gets people talking about these issues that Ron Paul raises, then good. Mission accomplished. This is a dialog we need in this country.
Ask yourself a few questions:
- What is the role of government as you understand it?
- Why do you see the role of government in that light?
- Is the role you see assigned to our government feasible militarily, economically, and strategically?
- When you answered the above question, did you do so from the gut or do you have real numbers to back it up?
- Assuming you want to see the Unites States lead the world, would that leadership be militarily, economically, morally, or something else?
- Which candidate most closely matches your answers to the above questions and why?
- Have you given that candidate support? If not, why not?
Wall of Shame
Posted on 2007-09-30 at 15:14
Witness my wall of shame:
In my defense, the whole time I watched the climbers, only 2 people were able to climb that side at all, and of those 2, one made it about a quarter of the way up and the other made it halfway. The other side (to my left in the video) was the easy wall.
The video cuts off after a minute or so, but I assure you the laughter only got louder and the shame only continued. It does not show the part where I waited til the guy running the thing wasn't looking and I cheated by using the scaffolding to try to get higher. The cheating, by the way, did little to help. I still couldn't get anywhere on that side of the rock wall. They had $50 at the top for anyone who could climb that side. I suspect that same $50 was there when they packed up for the night.
Successful cookouts and amicable hostage exchanges
Posted on 2007-07-28 at 20:52
A bunch of my friends came over for a cookout today. Shep was in town and showed up. Brent came with his family. Bryan (He Who Shall Die By My Hand) came over. Will showed...well actually Rebecca showed in his place. Much fun was had. There was chicken, derisive joking, beef, fire, corn, and vitriol. All was good in the land of Caudron.
As a side-note, I exchanged one item for one item with Bryan. He received his Mystic China book back in exchange for a Conan: Tower of the Elephant graphic novel. The exchange took place in a semi-lit hallway with nervous glances and distrustful scowls.
You, too, should read the new Conan: Tower of the Elephant:
If you prefer the old school Conan comic, get the original:
On Notice
Posted on 2007-07-21 at 15:31
As of last night's DnD game, here's the list of things that should be considered on notice:
If you or your behavior are on that list, you have been warned.
Valiant Canine Takes a Bite Outta Grime
Posted on 2007-07-10 at 22:14
A single brave dog took it upon himself to try to rid the world of Bryan earlier today. The admirable pooch sunk teeth into the Yeti-That-Would-Be-A-Man no less than twice by eye witness accounts. While the hairy hero didn't succeed in offing He-Who-Shall-Die-By-My-Hand, I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Thank you." Through great personal sacrifice, bribery, and no small bit of goat-sex, did I aquire a picture of the wound---still seeping the filthy ichor that oozes from the shambling mound of cellulite that Bryan calls a body. Gaze upon it and tremble:
Bryan and Rebecca
Posted on 2007-07-10 at 21:58
Gay, dude. Just gay.
A conversational snippet
Posted on 2007-05-18 at 16:10
Bryan said, "...toothpaste, deodorant, and Splenda"
I replied, "If I were Johnny Carson, I'd hold a card to my forehead and proclaim, 'Name three things you apparently don't use?'"
Some moments make me prouder than others.
Scattershot patterns
Posted on 2007-05-11 at 08:10
It appears that the majority of the people who read my blog fall into the lower right quadrant of this chart:
The rest all fall within the lower left quandrant. That, to me is interesting for a number of reasons:
- No one (as not a single person) fell on the top half (the authoritarian side) of the chart. Socially, my readers are clearly Libertarian. The closest result to authoritarian was a -0.72. The farthest result from authoritarian was my own (-6.26) with most falling between -3.00 and -5.00.
- Approximately 70% of the people reading my blog fell on the right side of the chart. Economically, my readers are mostly, but not entirely, neo-liberalists or libertarians rather than communists or collectivists. The farthest right was 4.35. The farthest left was -7.63. The greatest grouping was found between 2.00 and -1.00.
- One of my oldest atheist friends and one of my fiends with whom I attend Sunday school scored to within a couple of tenths of a point identically on both axis. Not sure that means anything, but I found it interesting anyway.
- One guy treated the chart like a bullseye and scored damn near the perfect center with a Economic 0.75/ Social-0.72 result. He must be that mythic political "center" I've heard so much about.
That is all for now. Thanks for sending me results. They were interesting.
Eat, Drink, Be Merry, Live Long, and Prosper!
Posted on 2007-05-02 at 21:27
Old news: Calorie restriction has a serious positive life-extending effect.
New news: We've isolated the gene responsible for this anomaly.
In short (for those too lazy to read the article), it appears that with some further study we may be able to invoke this longevity gene effect without the need to eat like a bird. I'm pleased and you should be too...unless you are a worshipper of a death cult, in which case you scare me and I hope I do not anger you, my creepy friend.
Only down side: Bryan, too, will benefit from this technology. Well, the bright side is that it gives me more time to plot his painful and humiliating demise.
The hand of death creeps
Posted on 2007-03-05 at 08:47
So, last week I had some flu that put me down, then my wife got ill, then cadence got ill, the I had eye surgery, then I got better, then Cadence got better, then Denise got better, then Friday afternoon, I got ill again (stomach bug), then it goes away by Sunday only to have me with a sore throat Sunday night and this morning.
Damn you Bryan! You've poisoned me, haven't you?!? What is it? Polonium? Cianide? Crack and Tide? I hate you!
If I should die in the next week or so, let it be known that I point my (middle) finger Bryan-ward It was him. I know it. He did this to me---may he rot in that special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.
The Sisterhood
Posted on 2007-02-27 at 20:43
Will,
Take comfort in knowing you are clearly not the first of your kind. Indeed, I've found clear photographic evidence in a Cracker Barrel that your kind has plagued us for many decades, at least!
My evidence:
NSFW
Posted on 2007-01-10 at 08:24
"I already know his fuck stick."
~Said By Bryan (context totally irrelevant)
A formal complaint has been lodged
Posted on 2006-12-14 at 07:51
I, of course, forgot to mention that it was Submarine Dave who first brought to my attention the matter of the midgets. Upon finding this fine corner of the web, he knew I must be informed. He did his duty.
Dave, attribution is now complete and you may expect royalty checks to begin pouring by COB.
A Halloween Followup
Posted on 2006-10-28 at 22:06
As you may know, I get the occasional comment about my blog from the provided "Make a Comment" links. The door is always open should someone really want their comment made public. This is the case today with Shep. He's requested that I include his addendum to my Origin of Halloween post. So, without editing or censoring, I present tonight's guest blog entry from Shep:
My favorite part of Holloween is when teenage kids unsuspectinly bite into an apple with razor blades stuck in it. Then they turn to you with eyes wide and a razor blade stuck between their two front teeth, like some kind of demonic dental floss. They mumble something like "Help me!" but you can't understand them because it comes out like, "Helphmpfp Muuhhh" Hahahaha! Good times.
So, now you know. If you reply to an entry of mine and want your comment known (as long as it's not just "Tom is the g@y sux0r!" or something like that) just make it known in your reply that you want it posted. As you can see, I'll post just about anything.
So Shep, now that you're famous, you'll be beating the womenfolk off with a stick! Look forward to your riches and glory.
Is he truly monkey-faced, Tom?
Posted on 2006-09-10 at 13:35
Yes, Bryan is truly monkey-faced as I claim in my previous blog entry. For proof I present this. Does it not remind you of a scene from Planet of the Apes? You can dress them up and stick a pipe in their banana-hole, but in the end you can't hide the monkey behind such a piss-poor man-mask.
Random Hostility: Sip it slowly so you can enjoy it longer
Posted on 2006-09-09 at 14:53
Maybe once this cheaper, faster FIOS stuff is done kicking Bryan's shit-ass company in the face for a few months, they'll consider a price reduction/speed increase. But then again, maybe not. Cox is run by retards. I know this because they hired a monkey-faced idiot like Bryan straight off the production line at the dick factory.
Matt has reproduced!
Posted on 2006-08-17 at 15:39
Belle was born on August 12th, 2006. The good news? She's a happy baby girl! The bad? This means her birthday falls on GenCon every year. Dude, see if you can change the birth certificate before she's old enough to know better!
GenCon 2006
Posted on 2006-05-02 at 08:42
The tickets are purchased, the events grabbed, the plans made.
GenCon, here we come!!! w00t!
The Homo Movieseat Firewall and the Twin Prime Conjecture
Posted on 2006-04-23 at 14:28
Last night, Bryan and I went to the movies to watch V For Vendetta. Overall, a good movie. But that's not what I'm writing about right now. Nope. Right now I'm gonna talk about math and the art of not being homo in a movie theater.
You see, Bryan has this thing about movies. He doesn't like guys to sit right next to him. It creeps him out. He likes to see one seat between all male friends in the theater. He says he only wants to sit close if it's a date. He's a total freak about it. It's his homo firewall. That one seat is all that stands between him and a torrid, slathering homo-erotic lovefest with oil, candles, Spock in leather chaps, and a soft Barry Manilow song.
Well, anyway, I'm sitting there right next to him (because it is my duty to creep Bryan out) and all I can think about is the Twin Prime Conjecture. What is the Twin Prime Conjecture? Let me explain.
You see around the year 300 BC this guy Euclid noticed that prime numbers (you know, those numbers which are only evenly divisible by themselves and 1) tend to come in pairs separated by one number. Like 11 [skip 12] 13, or 17 [skip 18] 19, or 101 [skip 102] 103. Put as Euclid did: there are infinitely many primes p such that p + 2 is also prime. He proposed that prime numbers would tend to group in that way infinitely. This conjecture has never been proved, though numerical evidence---not to mention simple heuristic reasoning involving the probabilistic distribution of primes---suggests its veracity.
Well anyway, I sat there, no seat between Bryan and I, his enormous mass (he is a fat bitch!) shifting uncomfortably from the entire movie. I should have put a hand on his knee halfway through, but I didn't want any uncut fingernail getting caught in the bristly, donkey-like fur that covers his Neanderthal legs. Instead I just leaned on the arm rest between us to invade his chair-space and spent the movie thinking of new prime twins.
I'm a hopeless freak in so many core ways.
Lest I forget Bryan on this most special of days
Posted on 2006-02-14 at 19:01
Bryan,
May your legs grow together and your back hair be knotty and twisted til Eternity gets old and dies. May you one day know the pain of a white hot dagger shoved through your ribs and deep into your chest cavity. May your last words on this earth be "That bitch...she stabbed me..." and may I be there to laugh aloud as death's chilled hand covers your mouth and smothers the last faint breath from your enormously overweight body.
I love you, man!
I mean they got that one ape to do sign language...
Posted on 2006-01-06 at 12:39
...so why can't we get Bryan to stop eating his own feces like an obese primate?
Conspiracy Dave?
Posted on 2006-01-03 at 10:19
When did you get your own web site?
After careful consideration...
Posted on 2005-12-15 at 08:01
. ...Will and I have determined that [--CONTENTS OF THIS REVELATION CENSORED BY ORDER OF BRYAN--]
The Case of the Haunted Hayride
Posted on 2005-10-31 at 08:01
I, Denise, Cadence, Brent, Kyoko, Hanna, Chris Susko, and Chris Susko's woman all went to the Hunt Club Halloween thingy last night.
Firstly, regardless of what lies others might spread in the wake of this event, I carried myself with dignity and respect.
Secondly, much fun was had by all. There were long lines and stupid, lying pizza men, but once you get past that, the night was brisk but not cold and the events were well done. Those that didn't go are worse for having abstained.
Denise and Kyoko and the children (Hanna and Cadence) spent most of their time in the main barn area with the music and dancing and *GASP* karaoke! You haven't lived til you've seen a drunk dude in a poor wolfman costume singing along to Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London. It hurt my ears and soul in ways unspeakable.
Mark has a blog now
Posted on 2005-10-28 at 08:02
You can read it over on LiveJournal.
Bryan is Dead
Posted on 2005-08-16 at 08:02
Tom goes to Will's house to visit. Tom asks, "Did your hear the news - Bryan is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and *BOOM* - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs room over the garage and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big heavy speakers on those small stands I have in the room and reaches up for the corner to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when *BANG*, this set of speakers comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the speakers off him and crawls over to the window to call for help, he tries to pull himself up on the window ledge but under his weight, the ledge cracks and he lurches forward falling out of the window to the dirt below. In mid air, all the broken windows pieces spin and fall on him, pinning him to the ground, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the lawn, just beside the side door. He crawls inside to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, *WALLOP*, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house."
Ba doom boom ching. Thanks folks. I'll be here all night. Don't forget to tip your waitresses.
Memorial Day weekend
Posted on 2005-05-31 at 08:01
All went well. I visited Dr. and Mrs. Kessler (who mentioned that they'd seen my blog!), finished upgrading Meghan's computer to Ubuntu Linux, played some D&D, and took Delaney to breakfast. I also chilled out a great deal.
Swampfest tomorrow
Posted on 2005-05-19 at 08:01
But it's not taking place in the swamp. :( We are going to Berry's becuase we couldn't rent the swamp shack in time. Oh well. It'll still be fun!
Jason Returns
Posted on 2005-03-24 at 08:05
Pictures of Me, Denise, and Will enjoying Jason's return.
I just need to say...
Posted on 2005-01-28 at 08:01
Bryan, this is for you.
Johnny Apathyseed
Posted on 2005-01-26 at 08:02
Mark called me yesterday. Apparently before he met me he was always on time and diligent and stuff. Now...not so much. Apparently, he now understands all too much why I don't go into work until 10 or 11 in the morning.
Full House
Posted on 2005-01-19 at 08:03
DnD was pretty packed last week. We had, me, Will, Bryan, Conspiracy Dave, Roy, Eruption Dave, Berry, and Will's friend from Boston. Eruption Dave has said he plans to return next week to join the campaign as a Paladin. Cool. We could use a Paladin.
I am your GAWD!
Posted on 2005-01-07 at 08:01
Since I've been blogging, Will and Bryan have both pick up an interest in it. Bryan doesn't blog a lot, but Will has recently decided to try to blog every day. He wants to use it as a tool to improve his mad writing skillz (or at least get used to writing a lot). Bow before my blogging might!
A minor skirmish
Posted on 2004-11-29 at 08:04
I hear that Bryan and Will got to debating rules at the last DnD session. I guess I can't be there for all the fun. Of course, Will needs to be willing to step up to the plate and DM if he's gonna go ticking off the DM like that. And Bryan needs to quit crying like a sissy with a stolen ball everytime Will disagrees. lol! I can't wait for the next game. Ah, these salad years won't last forever!
Submarine Dave update
Posted on 2004-11-01 at 08:03
His current difficulties are lessening. That is wonderful news!
Submarine Dave
Posted on 2004-10-29 at 08:02
Dave is going through a difficult time right now and my prayers are with him.
Conspiracy Dave and the Art of Polemic
Posted on 2004-10-28 at 08:02
Arguing with Conspiracy Dave is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win you're still a retard. Why do I bother?
Reminiscing about our first fight
Posted on 2004-10-21 at 08:01
The first fight Bryan and I had took place in San Francisco. I had been practicing my Stepping Eagle Style on the tension wire of the Golden Gate Bridge and he had been working on his Northern Iron Stomach technique in the icy waters below.
We had both nearly finished our regimes when we noticed each other. I, my hand on my car door to leave and he with a raw trout he'd snatched from the Pacific waters hanging from his mouth. A thick ichor dripped from his gaping maw and down the twitching fish tail as he stared me down as a leopard stares down its prey. Haunched over like a beast, he sat perched on the hood of his new green Saturn. Our eyes met and a primal growl rolled from his throat. It was on.
For the past eleven days and twelve nights I'd been in a Red Lotus Trance and, though I sought peace, he projected himself into my dreams, taunting me each night with his his gurgling laughter. Having been in a trance, I had not yet heard about his Six Day training under Master Kim Po Lung. Learning the Art of the Fistless Punch under Master Kim would serve him well.
A flickering eyelid was all that signaled my attack, but it was enough for my foe. As I lept forward, pulling a bamboo shard from my jacket and extending it out to perform the Staff of Seven Winds technique, he lept to intercept my staff before it had gained its strength with his Steel Tonfa. Our bodies met in the air over the bridge and it is said that forty people were deafened that day from the sound of our weapons clashing, such was the power of our mighty strikes.
The battle raged for a week and a half, neither given ground to the other as we advanced through our techniques and eventually surpassed the physical to concentrate our fighting on the psychic realm as we employed the techniques we'd learned from Master Gygax at the school where we first met. Id Insinuations and Towers of Iron Will bent metal and snapped tension wires on the great bridge. Cars flew into the waters and police eventually cordoned off the area to save the lives of the citizens of the city. While we raged, I am told that over four hundred, fifty people lost their lives to our wild combat. But they were commoners so it was OK.
When it seemed as though our fighting would never cease, my enemy took a blow to the head from Blue Honor, my Nine-Rings Sword, and burst into a cloud of biting insects that swarmed around me and infiltrated my armor. Lest the fight fall against me, I knew I must escape. Calling upon the power of my ancestors, I transformed into a cloud of smoke and floated away to fight again. As I left I could see my enemy reforming, a green ooze leaking from the many wounds in his body. The fight so close, I was certain that further training would hand me a sure victory. I now seek out Swami Vishishtadveata, who I will force to teach me the Celestial Palm form. With the Celestial Palm, my enemy cannot hope to withstand my next assault.
The Cornfield...OF WAITING!
Posted on 2004-10-17 at 08:02
The Hunt Club was a no-go. The lines were way too long. We are gonna try again in a few days.
These are the Daves I know, I know
Posted on 2004-10-16 at 08:02
Apparently, I've slighted a few Daves with my blog. For the record, let me officially add Eruption Dave and Dirty Dave to the list. Thanks go to Brent for the obscure reference in the title of this blog entry.
The Cornfield...OF EVIL!
Posted on 2004-10-16 at 08:01
It's that time of the year again, when the guys all go to the Hunt Club's Halloween Festival. We are going tonight. I dig it. You should too.
"I got a wallet!"
Posted on 2004-10-15 at 08:04
I received a request to further clarify the various Daves mentioned below. I should have added that in addition to not being HT Dave or Thievin' Dave, it was also not Submarine Dave or Cardinal Dave. Also, it's worth note that though I called him Destructo Dave, he is more properly referred to by the more recent moniker Conspiracy Dave. Hope that clears it up for everyone. By the way, if you don't get the blog entry title, don't worry because Submarine Dave does.
Dave's New Toy
Posted on 2004-10-13 at 08:03
So, Dave (Destructo Dave not HT Dave or Thievin' Dave) got his very own email account a couple of weeks ago. Now I get random blurbs from him every day that don't seem to follow a pattern or have any meaning. It's a new toy. I probably did the same when I first got my email account, lo, those many years ago. I'm glad he's easy to reach now, though. That is way cool.
Jason?
Posted on 2004-09-16 at 08:01
Yesterday morning I got a call from Jason, who I haven't heard from in nearly 12 years. We got together last night for dinner and some chat with Denise and Will. A great time was had by all. It made my week!
Bryan eats babies and hates all that is good
Posted on 2004-09-13 at 08:03
Bryan, AKA "The Yeti", is a loathsome and depraved creature with a lust for little asian boys.
Dave and the Art of Argument
Posted on 2004-08-24 at 08:03
Dave went with us to GenCon and got slammed the whole time he was there. There was constant and fun debate. He was crushed, but it was all good. College does not make you more stupid.
And the winner is...
Posted on 2004-08-24 at 08:02
Me, Will, Daren, and Bryan all made it to the semi-finals for the Dungeon Crawl Classics Tournament. Our teams winning streak ended there, but I got to advance with the winning team anyway (they had a dropout). That team and I continued on and took the Gold. I got a cool trophy, some loot, and some prestige. Neat. The tournament was run by Goodman Games. They do good work.
Will's Dad
Posted on 2004-07-21 at 08:01
Will's dad passed away this week. I have fond memories of his dad and I know he will be missed by many people. If you haven't already, you should take some time to give a couple of dollars to Alzhiemer's research. Think you are too broke to give? Think again.
Shep
Posted on 2004-07-16 at 08:05
Shep is in town. Cool stuff. He should move back. We need him, Dave, and Daren back in town.
Will
Posted on 2004-07-16 at 08:02
First, the most significant thing to happen. Will's dad is not doing so well. Most uncool. My prayers are with him.
I wrote Lee...
Posted on 2004-06-08 at 08:04
...and as expected good political debate ensued. I can't agree with him on many things, but I can't deny he does a good job of defending his points.
Picnic
Posted on 2004-06-07 at 08:02
The picnic with Brent and Kyoko was great! Will, Liisa, and Bryan should've been there. Much fun was had. Dave had a boat-sized skateboard and I had to abstain becuase I'm still healing from the 4 inch knife wound in my gut. Damn the luck! It looked like SO much fun! They flaunted in in front of me. Taunted me with its skateboardy goodness! Revenge is still in the planning stages.
Right o' Reagan
Posted on 2004-06-07 at 08:01
I saw Lee yesterday. I used to work with him at the schoolyard. Good guy, and as conservative as the day is long. Surely, he'd correct me and say, "Good guy because he's as conservative as the day is long". Anyway, I think I'll write him.
Will's Secret Union
Posted on 2004-05-24 at 08:02
Today is the day, I think, when Will gets welded to his woman. He's decided that his friends aren't gonna be invited. That sucks and it's a decision that warrants scorn and derision, but I wish him good luck nonetheless.
The Blame Game
Posted on 2004-05-18 at 08:02
If, by some odd occurance, I do die tomorrow under the knife, I hereby state that the events surrounding my death are suspicious and I blame Bryan. He has the means, motive, and opportunity. His heinous crimes warrant the most extreme punishments that the law will allow.
Roy is leaving town
Posted on 2004-05-06 at 08:03
OK, so now that I've gotten the "it sucks" part if the "Roy is leaving" stuff out of the way...dude! Come on. What about the game?!? You are abandoning us! Now we gotta find another player, and it's gonna be a stranger or something lame like that. Boo!
Roy is leaving town
Posted on 2004-05-06 at 08:02
That sucks. I understand why. I mean, that part is obvious, but it still sucks. Oh well. :(
Miserable
Posted on 2004-03-03 at 08:01
I've come down with something. If I die and the police read this for clues, I can only say that I myself suspect Bryan Andrewski of slowly poisoning me! He has the means, the motive, and the maliciousness...and, indeed, it would suit his personality perfectly to kill me in this cowardly way! But I let you draw your own conclusions.